Archive for May 19th, 2011

May 19, 2011

Stand up – so the healing may begin…..

by Rod Smith

Attraction is only enduringly poss

Take UP your life as an act of self LOVE

Breakups hurt – even if we want them. Ending even a troublesome marriage, let alone one that was often good, is an emotional amputation. It can take years and years to recover if full recovery is even possible. Give yourself space. Give yourself time. But, stand up.

Add infidelity to the mix – and the confusion, the replays, the what ifs, amplify. Now recovery, if it is possible, includes second-guessing everything that might have appeared innocent, rethinking what appeared good. Infidelity as a cause for a breakup seems to prolong, to postpone, the journey toward possible wholeness. Infidelity attacks the foundation, not just of a marriage, but also of the victim’s being.

Give yourself time, space, and a heavy dose of patience. But, stand up.

There is healing. There is growth. There is a future without her, without him, without life as you have always known it. But that life will wait in the wings while there is self-blame, while there is self-pity.

I know this is a hard truth to swallow – but until there is a moment when a person says, “I am responsible for myself and for what happens to me despite the actions of others,” there is unlikely to be the beginnings of authentic healing.