Whenever I write, “get a life” or “victim-hood is unattractive” or “move on” or “blaming your parents has an expiration date”, I usually get mail declaring I am uncaring, cold, arrogant, that I do not understand, that I was having a bad day – or, all of the above.

I concede: I am fully capable arrogance, coldness, of failing to understand, and of having a bad day.

When I suggest someone take up his or her life in the midst of a bad break-up or in the wake of a betrayal, I am doing so out of a deep sense of both understanding and caring, and hopefully, in a spirit of humility.

I know it sounds cold to suggest someone participate in his or her own resurrection from within the rubble of brokenness. But the journey of rebuilding has to start – and there is no better day than today and no better moment than the immediate!

These are the golden expressions of a person who will get well: I will get through this; I can do without a person who swears at me; I will learn about boundaries; I will not be poorly treated by anyone; there’s life after a breakup.

A person who begins speaking this way has begun to “get a life”.