“My daughter (25) wants to leave a long-term relationship to go overseas and further her studies. In the meantime the man she has been seeing for several years has put all kinds of roadblocks in her way. I know he doesn’t want to see her go because he says this was not in their long-term plans. He is quite possessive and now she is finally beginning to feel his hold over her. I feel that if he loved her he’d want her to become more educated and he’d encourage her. How do I encourage her to follow her dreams? How do I tell him that if they were meant for each other then they will end up together? He has a good career and would prefer for her to rely on his qualifications for the rest of their lives. Please guide me.”

State your opinion individually to both persons and then relinquish control of the outcome. If your adult daughter cannot overcome this apparent hurdle without your help she is unlikely to succeed in any credible learning environment be it at home or abroad.