You have “seen the light” after five and not 40 years. Congratulations. Leave carefully. Such people hate to lose and will go to enormous extremes to appear to win.
Behind closed doors he can be nasty, selfish, dismissive, vindictive, and evil spirited…
“I’m ready to leave my partner. I’ve finally realized he is emotionally abusive. We have been together for 5 years. He’s never cheated but he withholds love, affection and then when I eventually get angry about it, he says that that’s the reason he wants to leave. I realize I am fighting for something that he doesn’t value. He is arrogant. He mocks me, he’s condescending and is as sweet as pie around his mates but behind closed doors can be nasty, petty, selfish, stingy, dismissive, vindictive, rude, and evil spirited. He is attractive, charismatic, and ambitious. I’ve been reluctant to leave because I felt bad for him. I always made excuses for his rude, childlike, behavior because I told myself that he didn’t realize that he was behaving so cruelly. I even told myself that he could not count on his parents so I would be the one to show him what real love feels like. I always wondered if he’d finally love me the way I love him?” (Edited)
One Comment to “Behind closed doors he can be nasty, selfish, dismissive, vindictive, and evil spirited…”
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At last! 5 long years later you’re brave enough to move out. If he makes promises and pleas for you to stay, don’t give in. After 5 years he’s not likely to change suddenly and it’ll get harder for you.
There are so many couples in these types of relationships – I hope those reading this will see the light too.