He is constantly tormenting me about who hit on me…..

by Rod Smith

“I have been with my boyfriend for two years. All our arguments are about me ‘cheating.’ He wants me to delete my Facebook account and change my phone number. He is constantly tormenting me about who phoned me, ‘hit on me,’ and texts me. He’s talking marriage. Would he be the right man to live with for the rest of my life?” (Grammar modified)

Get involved in planning the future YOU want....The controlling / jealousy virus to which he plays host will not disappear because you get married – it will get worse. If this is how the man treats you when you are dating (when he is being most romantic) you can only imagine what he will be like when you are married.

If you want your wings permanently clipped, your hands in handcuffs, every move, friendship, and thought monitored (and you consider these manifestations of jealousy to be expressions of love) then, of course, he is the man for you.

The man needs help and you are not the one who can provide it.

Travel aside: My childhood in Red Hill exposed me to the best curry dishes on the planet. I’ve spent the last 20 years in the USA craving Natal curries! Singapore has it. I found it. Dinner in the Geylang District of this great Island Nation caused me to sweat with joy.

6 Comments to “He is constantly tormenting me about who hit on me…..”

  1. Thirty six years of marriage I endured a wide range of control issues. Life is not perfect and so I guess I made the best of it. From early on he accused me of things as you described and to this day though I have never kissed another man in my life he as accused me of that and more. As my children are now adults I find that my responsibilities have shifted from family to self. There were good times and bad and I realized that when I had him the center of my focus it wasn’t so bad, but when I tried to achieve on my own in a personal and business sense, his insecurity was set in full motion. When I mentioned family therapist, it would improve and times would be better but it always slipped back sooner or later.
    I find that there is something to the victim and perpetrator and not that I think people ask to be abused or controlled, but there are personalities that have the traits that push the buttons which encourage the roles in which we fill. I think those who have a greater network of family and friends are less likely to get involved in a relationship that reveal early on the red flags for control and abuse, which to me are really one in the same.

  2. Yeah that is not going to get any better! Tell him that he is crazy, and if he keeps treating you like this his nightmares are more likely to come true

  3. gal forget he will neva change even after the marriage
    get a man who knows how to love n respect you,
    believe they are there looking for you also,dont give up,chao

  4. Run and fast!!!

  5. I am responding to the subject matter. The truth is if both the man and woman are in a “Secure” and “True” Relationship, I personally and as well as others Would Not Expose My Personal Information even on little things on Facebook!

    A Man & Womnan Relationship by Design is SACRED AND PRIVATE AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR ONE OF THE PARTNERS TO DO THINGS THAT WOULD JEPORDIZE THE SUBSTANCE AND PURPOSE OF THE RELATIONSHIP which most of these THINGS DO LEAD TO UNNNECESSARY JEALOUSY, INSECURITY, AND EVEN DANGEROUS BEHAVIORS!

    So, why should one of the Partners Enjoy or Unconsiously Enjoy announcing Private Matters to others on “Facebook” unless this person (the guy or the girl) MAINLY WANTS TO GET SILLY ATTENTION THROUGH FACEBOOK?” Well, it seems like there is a lot of Self and Soul Searching Needs to be done by this person, am I right!

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