Neighbor’s wife makes advances to me….

by Rod Smith

“People often feel it’s acceptable for men and women to develop platonic, non-romantic, non-sexual relationships with people they are attracted to as a friend. I’m not saying that having a friend of the opposite sex is wrong, but it can be dangerous. We are creatures of nature and run toward those who bring us comfort, joy, love and satisfaction. I’ve seen all to often where a wife will slip out on her husband and he would never know. My neighbor’s wife, a beautiful woman had everything going for her, but she would always make these advances toward me, and was serious about them. Had I not been married and if I did not have spiritual values I would have given in because ultimately that is human nature. I would see her with him, she would be a different person rarely speaking to me, When he’s away she’s a flirt without letup.”

You have not “given in” to the advances of your neighbor because you have a clear understanding of who you. Your neighbor’s confusion doesn’t rub off on you. Your strong boundaries have saved you from unnecessary, and inevitably painful, conflict.

One Comment to “Neighbor’s wife makes advances to me….”

  1. I am dealing with a similar situation, just gender reversed. My married neighbor has shown to be very interested in me (I am married as well), and he happens to be someone that I am attracted to, unfortunately. I am guilty of “smiling too much” whilst speaking with him and getting lost in his eyes…lots of staring and smiling.
    I can tell that he has realized that talking to me causes him feelings that he does not want to feel. We have never had a conversation about this, but it is obvious that we both have realized that “this” is inappropriate and we avoid each other as much as possible.
    This really would be no big deal if “as much as possible” meant that we could actually avoid each other.
    His wife loves me and always insists that I accompany them in activities, and our children are in the same grades and activities at school… our paths cross all the time, our lives intermingle by nature…with no planning on our parts.
    My question is, is it inappropriate to speak with this man and clear up any misunderstandings? I believe that it is clear that we both have the same intentions of not having an affair. I just don’t want to always feel uncomfortable around him…and don’t want him to feel uncomfortable around me.
    I wanted to submit a new question but did not see how to do it. This question was interestingly similar to what I wanted to ask about.

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