Archive for June 5th, 2008

June 5, 2008

How to tell all is not well with a close friend…

by Rod Smith

When a friendship is not going well, and a good discussion and reconciliation is necessary, passive-aggressive behavior can seep into a relationship. It is not always easy to identify. Here are some indicators. Find the behavior in yourself before you go looking for it in others…

1. You are spending less time with someone who is important to you without admitting that there is something wrong, or while openly suggesting that everything is all right.

2. You are using double-edged comments to or about this person. On the surface you appear to be giving a compliment while you are really delivering a jab or an insult.

3. You speak ill of this friend to a third party, or you speak only in glowing terms about him or her, in order to give others the impression that nothing has changed.

4. You find yourself over-committing to work or social events to make less time available to see this friend.

5. You are deliberately doing what you know this friend does not like (smoking in his or her company, arriving late, becoming uncharacteristically elusive).

6. You just happen to leave him or her off your invitation list.

7. Your head is full of what you think he or she has done, or not done, to you, and resentment and bitterness creeps into your thinking.