Archive for June 18th, 2008

June 18, 2008

The power of Human Sexuality….

by Rod Smith

Sexual behaviors can provide powerful insight into a person’s life. While it is tempting to label people and behavior, it is seldom helpful when solutions to damaging or addictive behaviors are sought. It is helpful to note that:

1. Sexuality, and sexual problems, cannot be divorced from a person’s “whole.” To say “this is just a sexual problem” is a hopeful myth. Such compartmentalizing of a person’s inner-workings reflects misunderstanding of the power of human sexuality.
2. Sexuality is profoundly human, a robust indicator of who we are as humans. It is essential to our core; deeply rooted within our personalities, and expressed in everything we do. All behavior is in some sense sexual.
3. Sexual problems are unique to an individual against the individual’s backdrop of background, history, and experience. It is seldom possible to hear only a little from a person, and then understand a lot. Like all things human, it is more complex than it appears.
4. Perverse, or antisocial sexual activities are more often about the illusion of power afforded the perpetrator than about the sexual act itself.
5. People tend to attract people who are equally functional, or equally confused, or similarly hurt. It is as if covert (hidden) sexual “issues” have magnetic power (to both attract and cause repulsion) between similarly unsettled psyches.

Rod Smith is a family therapist. Contact him at Rod@DifficultRelationships.com.