Stay out of control…

by Rod Smith

“I want to save my marriage. Our situation has risen to a new level with issues of jealously and trust. He takes my car keys, he checks up on me, I no longer have friends around, and am no longer allowed ‘ladies nights.’ My brother is not allowed to visit. My husband doesn’t want children. He picks on me constantly. He complains that I don’t give him enough sex. He checks on my cash slips so I don’t spend too much money. I have the urge to run and run. I was independent and a professional artist but he took it away. I am constantly walking on eggshells not to upset him. He turns things around so I look bad. Please help. (Minimal edits for space)

Dance on the eggshells, invite your brother, and make a spare set of car keys, invite friends to visit, go out as often as you want. Initiate sex only when YOU want sex. Take back your power or this will never be a marriage. Control is never love so stay out of it. Get your life back: you are a wife, not a prisoner. His jealousy is HIS issue. Don’t make it yours. Until you focus on your behavior and not on his, this marriage will not improve.

4 Responses to “Stay out of control…”

  1. You are obviously in a very unhealthy relationship. Unless your husband is willing to seek marriage counseling, I highly doubt that he will change his ways. Your instinct to run may be a good one. This man is controlling your life and emotionally abusing you.
    If you do decide to leave, be very careful and take precautions to protect yourself. A man who exhibits the kind of behavior you described can be dangerous.

  2. Confront him with the fact that maybe he wants you to leave. Maybe he is making your life so miserable that you won’t want to stay. That way, he can say that you left him. This is a big thing for men. It feels better when we say she left so men are the victims. He probably has plans already and just waiting for you to walk. So confront him with the fact that you are not going to leave no matter how miserable he wants to make you feel and start doing your own thing as the previous comments suggested.
    Be strong.

  3. I think confrontation is a bad idea. Safety is a good one. Let’s not let this escalate into something violent. Leave and don’t look back. Save yourself. Who cares what he says. He’s a manipulator. he’ll say anything so you look bad. It will happen whether you stay or go. Empower yourself from the abuse and control and call a old friend or relative you know you can trust. Go.


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