Stepmother reduces her success to 8 principles…

by Rod Smith

I took on two stepchildren twelve years ago who have become wonderful adults who love all their parents. Here are some things I did to make life easier:

  • I didn’t take the place of anyone. I took my place.
  • I didn’t get in the way of their affections for their parents, but expected them to be well mannered and enjoyed their affection when offered.
  • I got out of the way when there was conflict and let the people who had known the children the longest sort it out. If I was a source of the conflict I admitted it, stood my ground, or apologized.
  • I found being rigid doesn’t work too well with any kind of family.
  • I did not get caught up in trying to make everything fair. I realized this was a trap and I wasn’t going to spend my life measuring everything.
  • I got out of the way when the children had conflict with each other and I encouraged their father to do the same.
  • When I did not have full cooperation from my husband I let him know immediately.
  • I was friendly with the children’s mother so we could cooperate regarding the children.

(Synthesized from a conversation)

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