He sets rules about visiting my parents…

by Rod Smith

“I have been married for two years and we have had a constant battle about how often we visit my parents. My husband put in place his rules of ‘creating appropriate distance’ with fortnightly visits, which are often pushed to visits every fourth week. I thought we’d visit both sets of parents weekly but that idea was quickly terminated. It is really hard. My husband is a bit of a control freak because he used to tell me that I should behave like someone’s wife instead of someone’s daughter! I am just sick of this childishness. If he loved me, he would make the effort that is required every couple of weeks for my sake and stop creating ‘rules’ that just apply to my family.” (Edited)

I’d suggest you visit your family at will, and, having extended to your husband an opportunity to join you, if he refuses, proceed alone. Do not be his press secretary = direct questions regarding his absence to him. Persist in this manner and you will be behaving as a wife and daughter! While your husband will probably not “get it” (“adolescent men” seldom do) your determination to avoid his control will do your husband and marriage a wonderful service.

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