Quick course in improving all your relationships…

by Rod Smith

Pass it on if you find it helpful

Pass it on if you find it helpful

Get out of the middle of relationships (issues, concerns) that do not directly involve you. Your spouse’s relationship with your parents (your husband’s relationship with your son) does not involve you. It is close to you, and it has an impact on you but you are not part of it!

Resist speaking for others, explaining people to each other or being “communication central” within your family. Allow people to speak for themselves and to speak to each other without your help. Your spouse will not learn to speak to the children if you keep on doing it for your spouse.

Extricate yourself from unnecessary binds (inappropriate loyalties) by refusing to harbor secrets and gossip even with your best of friends.

Get beyond blame. Take full responsibility for your life and every aspect of your life. While you may have had a lousy childhood (or a drunken parent, or a verbally abusive grandmother) you are now an adult who has, despite the failings of your nurturers, to embrace life to the full.

Forgive everyone for everything – it’s a whole lot easier than accumulating grudges.

4 Comments to “Quick course in improving all your relationships…”

  1. Rod,
    Great advice! We should all take heed of your wisdom.

  2. “Forgive everyone for everything” – this sounds like excellent advice to me, as I know my life would be alot more content if I could let go of the slights I feel others inflict on me. However, this is easier said than done – I need to work out how to do this!

  3. …of course…. this is the very challenge each of us faces when called to live “free-er” lives…

  4. You often mention “forgiving” or “forgiveness”. Is this a blanket piece of advice even to follow when the person who has perpertrated the wrong has not apologised or asked for forgiveness – if you forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness, are you then not letting that person get away with their bad behaviour and thus not putting a boundary in place. Surley the person will repeat the behaviour if they have not requested forgiveness?

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