Biological mother wants to undo adoption….

by Rod Smith

Four years ago I met a woman who had a son (9) I then adopted. She is suing for divorce after one heated argument. My wife indicated in divorce papers that my adopted son doesn’t wish to continue our relationship or see me yet she also stated visitation be allowed. She reneged on visits and left me with no alternative but to seek relief through the courts. My adopted son has not said anything to me but I believe his mother is influencing him. He is a teenager and we enjoyed a wonderful relationship until the separation. His school progress has suffered. I fear the biological parent is using the child as a tool. Now the biological mother is using the adoption to say that I shouldn’t have the same rights. Do you have any advice? I feel I may not only lose my relationship with my adopted son, but that the biological mother may seek to undo the adoption. (Edited)

What is in the child’s best interests is difficult to discern! Undoing legal relationships is generally not a good idea – but it seems to come easy to the mother. The more you push, the greater resistance you will face. A wise lawyer will be able to offer you better guidance than I can offer.

5 Comments to “Biological mother wants to undo adoption….”

  1. I am a father to a very beautiful daughter. I gave her up for adoption because I coulldn’t afford the child support, I was over 7,000 behind and looking at jail time. I am trying to support Three children in the family I’m raising now not including my fiance. I did not want to lose all my children which I have made a relationship with, especially my daughter, but her mother promised to keep visitation. She hasn’t kept her word, now I haven’t seen my daughter in over a year. I just want to know if there is any thing I can do to undo the adoption that I let happen. Contact me, please, at lesterm81@aol,com. Thank you.

  2. March 23, ’09

    It’s NOT uncommon for any natural mother to want to “un-do” the adoption of her child[ren]. My experience as a natural mother is that those who took my only child from my only pregnancy away from me “by flattery” and adopted him out under CONCEALMENT and then “killed me off” by falsifyng my records, at every level, is that they instead filled me with anguished regret.

    For years I cried myself to sleep every other night, and found myself desperately alone during the days. Ocassionally I ended up in psychiatric care which NEVER helped, and finally realized the only thing that would make me feel better and my world less miserable would be to know my son.

    (State authorities) –from where my child was removed from my parental custody–had NO compassion for me. In fact they got angry because ultimately I asked questions and demanded answers. They got belligerent that I love my son, whom they’d bloodlessly stolen from me, and tried to force me to “further” abandon him.

    They (names removed by editor) destroyed my relationship with the father of my son. But the “social worker,” the lawyer, and the senator all broke up my relationship and destroyed the rest of my family by smearing my reputation by claiming infedility on my part and the like. It was demoralizing, and devastating.

    In my state (“they”) take babies from usually un-married mothers without a second thought about the biological mother/father. It’s almost like these people live in caves about adoption they’re so primal.

    (Edited)

  3. What happened to my comment?

  4. What happened to my comment?

  5. Kathy, It has been years since you gave up this child, you must go on. Everyone in the world is not out to get you. You made a horrible mistake. This you must live with. No one takes a child without a parents permisson. It is not your parents fault, families fault. Go on with your life. Let the past be the past. Thank God your son was probably raised by a good family and is a happy man now.

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