Archive for June 18th, 2007

June 18, 2007

This is wasted effort…

by Rod Smith

“I really admired a man I worked with and we became friends. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. We’d call each other and send messages. We became very good friends. I was going to Johannesburg to visit friends so I got him a gift to express my gratitude. I told him that I had a gift for him. He insisted we meet for lunch that weekend so I tried to accommodate him. When in Johannesburg I called him to let him know I had arrived. He sounded excited but told me he had to go Mpumalanga. When I called I felt like he was avoiding me. So later that day I tried calling him his phone was on voice mail for the rest of the weekend. I was so upset because he suggested that we meet and have lunch. Ever since then he has been different. He avoids my calls, he doesn’t even reply to my messages. It is hurtful because I trusted him and he was a really good friend. I have even suggested we go for weekend just us two he doesn’t respond. What would you suggest I do?” (Letter shortened)

Rod’s reply: You are working too hard. I’d suggest the man is not worth your efforts and is probably hiding something significant from you.

June 18, 2007

This man could use a short course in growing up…

by Rod Smith

“I feel lost. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. Everything was great. Good sex life, good communication, and we have an 11-month-old baby. I am three months pregnant. I went to visit my parents for 10 days and came back and my husband told me he thought of me as only a friend. I am shocked. I never saw it coming. He says he doesn’t want to be with any other women in a serious relationship again. He says I did nothing wrong. I am 24. I built my whole life around him. I am very depressed. My mom wants me to take the baby to stay with her. I am hoping therapy will help him but it may not make him love me again. I just want to kiss him and hug him and tell him I love him. I don’t know what to do. I am so depressed.” (cut for space)

This is a relationship worth fighting for. The children need their dad and you need your husband. The man needs a short course in growing up and living up to with the commitments he has already made. I trust he will read this and face his family and be the man he is called to be. Love is not ONLY a feeling, and sometimes you have to do the hard work of love for the feelings to return.