I need my space…..

by Rod Smith

“I need my space” are some of the toughest words a partner can hear. They ought to be used with great caution. The short utterance can emotionally disable a person and send them into a rapid emotional, even physical, decline.

Asking for space always raises questions:

Does that mean you want out?
Does that mean someone else has come along to occupy my space?
When did I begin to be in “your space” in a manner that was uncomfortable to you?
How long have you been “putting up” with me?
How long have you been planning this?
Why did not you tell me earlier?
Don’t you see this is very unfair since you have been thinking this a long time and have all you plans in place while I am taken by surprise?
We have been doing this, this way for a long time.
I thought you supported the way we operate?

Telling someone with whom you have shared life that you need space might be met with utter confusion. When a partner “needs space” a sudden vacuum enters and one or both people no longer know exactly how to behave with each other anymore.

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