The saddest letter I have received in 5 years….

by Rod Smith

“Sorry to trouble you, I have been hurt so badly I have forgotten how to love. Can you help?” (Letter printed in full from a woman reader).

In several years of writing this column, and consequently receiving thousands of emails with all manner of situations described, your brief letter might be the saddest I have received.

Your growth will begin when you are ready to assess your role in your own hurt condition. Do not think I am blaming you for your own hurt. I am not.

Rather, I am challenging you to see that you did perhaps enter a relationship somewhat blindly. You probably offered too much, too soon, and you probably inappropriately trusted someone without sufficiently searching your own head and heart.

Troubled relationships almost always offer warnings along the way and avoiding these warning signs is often very costly. While you are indeed hurt, I’d suggest you are probably not too damaged to love again.

Before you embark on trying to love again, I’d suggest you take long-leave from intimate relationships for at least a year. In the meantime, send me much more information about what you have endured for it might be that everything I have said thus far, could prove to be totally incorrect.

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