Desires for Autonomy and Intimacy live within the deepest recess of self, where soul, spirit, body, intellect collide, connect, and have their enduring party

Within each person is a holy place called The Self. It is here, in the deepest recesses of who each of us is, that the human spirit, and soul, and intellect meld and form the powerhouse for who each of us is. And the subtle art of self-care (“subtle” because there is a delicate difference between being self-caring, selfish, and self-serving) is fundamental to good mental, emotional, and therefore also relational health.

Appropriate self-care is not selfishness or self-indulgence. It is not self-centered-ness. It is not self-serving. It is self-awareness. It is self-monitoring with the firm understanding that each person is responsible for the condition of his or her self. Each of us is responsible for how we relate to all others (to neither dominate or be dominated). Each of us is responsible, when it comes to ALL other adults, for maintaining relationships that exemplify mutuality, respect, and equality.

Part of self-care is the enduring understanding that each person has a voice to be respected, a role to be fulfilled, and a calling to be pursued. Every person (every Self) requires room to grow, space apart from others, while at the same time requiring intimacy and connection. The healthy Self is both connected and separate all at the same time, underscoring again the subtlety required in the art of self-care.

Posted on December 8, 2009 at 2:37 pm in Attraction, Boundaries, Communication, Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL