Archive for November 15th, 2008

November 15, 2008

How do you mend a broken heart after a failed romance?

by Rod Smith

Be sure to go “in order” and do not skip a step:

dsc_06421. Cry, wail, and let out as much raw emotion as humanly possible. Do it in private in several bouts spread over several weeks. Be sure to cry every available tear. Un-cried tears become toxic slime rendering the carrier bitter, angry, cynical, and sarcastic. This step will take several weeks to a month. Take your time.
2. Once crying has exhausted you, and once you’ve had sufficient rest, write as much detail as you possibly can about your role in the failed relationship. Get your mind off what he or she did, or what he or she did not do, and focus on the part you played in the failed entanglement. Allow three to six months. Again, take your time.
3. Value your integrity above saving or having any relationship. Tell the truth about who you are. Decide what you want. Remind yourself that it is you alone who makes decisions about who you will be with, what you will or will not do, and how you will spend your time and resources. Allow the rest of your life for completion of number three.

(As you “live out” number 3, remind yourself that sometimes hearts do not fully mend, but that you always have the opportunity to become wiser in how you handle your heart and the hearts of those whom you to love).

November 15, 2008

A reader writes to encourage stepparents…

by Rod Smith

“I’m currently living with my fiancé and his two daughters who are 11 and 13). Their mother moved a fair distance away right after the divorce. They would have had joint custody if she stayed, however, she chose to move away to her new boyfriend and have a new baby. Despite everything the girls have gone through, they have always treated me with respect. They are such sweet open hearted individuals that I really look up to. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if my mother had moved away from me at that age. There are times when they act up and frustrate both their dad and me but it’s really just normal stuff all kids do.

“For all stepparents, the fact that you are even there willing to be part of the family and show love to the children is something very special on its own. That takes a special someone. But yet, ‘evil step mom or dad’ are under constant scrutiny from the ones who really made ‘the choice’ to be a parent yet not be around. Stepparents should get a medal for everything they have to endure.”