Archive for November 11th, 2008

November 11, 2008

Your answer fell short…..

by Rod Smith

“I read your 9 November 2008 column and was struck that enquirer made the point that he lost his parent when he was six and needed space. Your reply fell short of constructive advice for his future relationships.

“It sounds as though the pain of his loss resulted in a barrier against further pain, so he avoids getting too close to people. This makes long-distance relationships ‘safe.’ Surely he needs to deal with the root of this to build a healthy, interactive relationship?

“As he is would not bode well for marriage a man and woman ‘cleave’ and become one flesh, where interaction, communication, commitment, and trust are key ingredients. No one can force him to face and deal with the root of his problem, but a healthy marital relationship, will require two emotionally and psychologically well individuals.

“I acknowledge his girlfriend might be too demanding, in which case she would also need to learn to establish healthy boundaries. I agree it may be best for the relationship to be ended, but the problems will still remain in future relationships if not addressed. We tend to drag baggage from our childhoods into adult relationships, often to our own detriment.”