Archive for November 25th, 2008

November 25, 2008

I felt like I was not a priority to him….

by Rod Smith

“I was engaged recently and have been with my partner for three years. We have had our troubles but have always worked through things. My partner was hurt by my confession that I had unresolved feelings for my ex-boyfriend. We had many conversations and decided to try again. He had since been hanging out with new friends and acting out of control. He started to lie about his whereabouts and we we’re always arguing. I felt as though a commitment to our relationship meant that he had to live accordingly and respect the dsc_0642boundaries of our relationship. I was happy for him to see his friends but not happy that it seemed devious and sly. I felt like I was not a priority and as though he felt like I was always whining and trying to control him.” (Considerably shortened and edited)

I’d suggest you remove yourselves from each other’s lives for a while. Do some “letting go” and get some perspective on what you want. You are both going to have to learn to stay out of each other’s emotional business. The issue is not that you are not close enough — you are too close! Everything he does affects you, and this is not a healthy platform for a lifetime of loving.