You know you’ve met a healthy family when…

by Rod Smith

1. It is frequently difficult to tell who, if anyone, is running the show.

2. There is a lot of noise and laughter.

3. The children sometimes form a healthy alliance against the parents, and the children often get their way.

4. There are frequent conflicts.

5. Differences are embraced, even encouraged.

6. Healthy families generate a degree of chaos almost everywhere they go. It takes a lot of energy to get the family to do anything together, as a group, because everyone is so busy with “outside-the-family” activities.

7. While such families intend differently, they are seldom on time for anything. They change their minds at the last moment and do something quite unexpected.

8. Roles and rules are not set in stone. Negotiation skills are highly valued.

9. Hurtful words and actions are avoided but quickly repaired when necessary.

10. The parents have a life together that frequently excludes the children.

One Comment to “You know you’ve met a healthy family when…”

  1. I am part of a blended family and have been for 17 months now. After doing a lot of reading and with some help from Rod in coping with issues in our family, we have settled into a wonderful life. This article explains our family perfectly and I have realised now how very blessed my boyfriend and I are in that we have achieved something so amazing in a short space of time. We are not without our problems like most families but they are small, normal and easily solved. We have thrown 5 children into the mix who fight like cat and dog but who also love each other dearly and refer to each other as brothers and sisters. They protect each other and stand by each other and sometimes do unite against my boyfriend and I. So for those of you in blended families, they can work and bring so much love and joy to everyone in them.

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