Archive for January 30th, 2006

January 30, 2006

A meditation for “recovering” child-focused, child-obsessed parents…

by Rod Smith

Loving my children will be a priority, but not the central or only priority of my life.

Parenting, and loving my children will not consume me becuase I will not allow it to.

If loving my children has an all-consuming effect upon me, the parent, it will certainly also consume the children!

Undiluted, laser-like love, and focused attention, directed at any child will bother him, will unsettle him, more than empower him. Rather than helping him feel loved and secure he will feel unduly responsible for my emotional well being, and that will feel like a mountain too big for any child to climb.

Children deserve freedom from the intense, even loving gaze, of a parent.

Oh, of course, children want a parent’s undistracted focus, and of course they want their parents’ loving interest, but when a parent has too much love, and too much interest in their child (to the exclusion of the parent’s other interests and loves) then this “love” becomes a burden for the child.

Children want our love, not the sacrifice of our lives on their behalf.

Children do not need parents to be martyrs.

Children want parents to be parents.