Question: I have given myself completely to someone for five years who now tells me they need space. I am completely lost and don’t know what to do. This is so unfair. It is a horrible thing to do to anybody. Please help.
Response: Giving yourself “completely” to another is not a sign of love. It is an unwise idea, even in marriage, for such complete self-abdication for another can be very smothering for the victim of such love.
When one person needs space, it suggests there has been little necessary space required for any relationship to thrive. Take time to go through all of the cycles of anger, rage, and regret for, if you do not, you will visit these emotions when entering other relationships, even relationships of a non-romantic nature.
It is no wonder you feel lost: you have vacated yourself for five years only to return home to find no one is living there!
While your pain is presently extreme, you will be tempted to re-establish the relationship.
Try to see this separation as an opportunity to turn your life “right-side-up” through realigning your understanding of what makes a relationship attractive.
see also:
difficultrelationships.blogspot.com