Words are powerful both to heal and hurt. I’m frequently dumbfounded by the harsh and aggressive exchanges I witness within families. A father calls a son stupid; a husband tells his wife she is fat and ugly; a wife screams at her husband and in these moments (when much harder language is used than would be appropriate to print in this column) it is hard to imagine the degree of pain loose tongues can inflict.

Sadder still? The son, the wife, the husband can quickly become inured, deaf to such exchanges. The verbal combat becomes so practiced and even routine, that everyone regards the verbal assaults as meaningless.

Love is diminished, even destroyed when angry people use words as weapons.

A genuine apology (with no ulterior motive) can go a long way to provoke healing in the aftermath of a shouting match. Telling your son or wife or husband that you wished you didn’t say such harsh, ugly things or that you were wrong, and that you will try to do better in the future can go a long way to restoring calm – unless of course, even apologies have become a part of the family’s abusive tactics.