Leadership is often misunderstood. I see leaders (pastors, teachers, coaches) looking for formulas, for steps, for ways to show who is boss. They look for workers (congregants, students, athletes) who will make them appear successful. I have seen leaders grasping for power and status in the illusive search of abating feelings of inadequacy.

And when we (every leader is prone to these temptations) do any of these things as leaders, we miss the point.

Leadership is an inside job.

It’s an internal condition. It’s understanding a function, a role, rather than becoming an identity in which we glory.

Authentic leaders are more interested in changing themselves than they are in changing others. They are more committed to personal integration (reducing hypocrisy) than they are into pushing, moving, manipulating others in a particular direction.

In pursuit of greater levels of personal integration, authentic leaders are ruthlessly honest with themselves and with a few core carefully chosen family members and carefully chosen friends. They are unafraid of feedback, and when and if they are, they overcome it by facing the fear and enduring the feedback. Authentic leaders consistently pursue the double-edged goal of constantly increasing both intimacy and autonomy at one and the same time.