Do you live an emotional nightmare?

by Rod Smith

You walk on eggshells. You fear fallout – yet you wish for it. You say something then – wish you hadn’t. You know that no matter how innocent or insignificant the conflict, whatever occurs will get magnified out of all proportion. Innocent statements will be misinterpreted, misquoted, and repeated incorrectly forever. You feel trapped by what is supposed to be love but have second thoughts (actually a million thoughts!) about how love is supposed to feel.

You are usually wrong and you are told you are stupid. When you admit fault, even stupidity, you are at fault for admitting it. When you are right, you are wrong for saying so, or, you think you are perfect and trying to show others up. If you are silent you are avoiding conflict. If you speak out you are “looking for trouble.”

In your intimate whirlpool white is black, black is white and the water is very murky. Innocence is guilt. Pointing out obvious error is entrapment. You are exhausted with the load of meeting the emotional needs of someone who cannot, or will not, take responsibility for his or her own needs. You “share” life with an emotional piranha and yet, for some unfathomable reason, you stay, feeling unable to escape.

2 Comments to “Do you live an emotional nightmare?”

  1. I escaped – took me 11 years-amazing how I feel like you jumped into my psyche and wrote about my nasty adventure with my husband’s daughter whom I invited very nicely out of my life in January. Now she has her daddy all to herself – so she thought but then daddy did not return her calls, her emails, her texts and she of course tells everyone who listens that it is because of me. I should have THAT much power. The wonderful thing is that now I laugh at all the things she did – so I got out of the emotional merry go round, I am happy again and relieved and I am a big girl I have no regrets that I don’t have to spend one more minute in her company unless I absolutely want to- let’s see maybe in 2012. It is such a release to rid yourself of energy vampires. Takes courage and support but it’s worth it. Color me in a better place now.

  2. When I finally learned the lesson and left my final relationship that was an ’emotional nightmare’ I did so with the words “…and feel free to add that to your blame list”.

    It may appear a cheap shot, but it was said without malice or prejudice. I just knew from experience that they would nurture the grudge forever. And recognizing that, I knew that I wouldn’t be back for more. So I quietly shut the door and never looked back, never took the phone calls, never returned the texts and never returned the e-mails.

    At the very same moment I learned the lesson, I also forgave them. After all, how could I justify any anger ? I had voluntarily stayed for as long as I had. If they had used coercion against me then I had voluntarily given them too much power over me without holding them accountable for returning the same.

    I choose to be happy about it. While I may have invested considerable amounts of my own time, money and effort; they had given me something infinitely more valuable… the knowledge that I would never do it again.

    Since that time the cost of my new knowledge has been more than been paid back through the increased quality of my personal and work relationships and the love and money they have produced for myself and the others involved.

    While I feel tempted from time-to-time to hunt down those that hurt me and thank them, you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t because now I only pass my days with complete adults, not emotional piranhas.

    Lighthouse

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