My mother expects me to give her money when she loses hers on the horses…..

by Rod Smith

“My mother is a financial drain. She gambles all her money every week and then expects me to pay her accounts and give her more money. Then she talks to everyone about what a bad daughter I am if I refuse. I am not rich but now I have to pay for her fancy phone and for her cigarettes because she lost on the horses and machines. She thinks I should be treating her just as if she was one of my children. She says that I am more generous to my children than I am to her. What do you think I should do?” (Edited)

If you feed it, it will grow....

I’d bet (no pun intended) your mother’s problems are hardly new – she’s probably spent years and years developing her wasteful routines and her circle of enablers. I have little doubt that she can “play” you and the guilt-card quite effectively and that you oscillate between feeling anger for her wastefulness and guilt when you refuse.

The art of polite and firm refusal can be learned – and I’d suggest you learn it. Every penny that goes from you to her simply makes her problem harder for her to solve.

Eat with her – so you know she is not going without food – but give her no money.

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