His wife doesn’t know about me…..

by Rod Smith

“I am getting too close to a man at work. He is a level higher than me although I do not report to him. We started meeting randomly at lunch and then he suggested we go to another place to eat where no one from work goes. This has been very exciting for me. He says he needs a person and a place to let off steam and to help him think straight. He’s been very honest about his wife and his children and his marriage. Is it okay for me to be his listening ear or am I treading on dangerous ground? His wife doesn’t know about me.” (Edited)

Have the courage to stop.....While this man is being dishonest with his wife, he cannot be “really honest” with you. I’d suggest you stop meeting him and being his listening ear. His first port of call to let off steam and to help him think straight is his wife – not a co-worker and one over whom he holds some indirect rank. If he can’t confide in his wife, confiding in you will only lead each of you into professional and domestic complications that will serve neither of you well. Tell him it is over – you do not need to explain yourself. He already knows he’s walking on thin ice.

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