Archive for January 10th, 2018

January 10, 2018

When your parents tell you they will be divorcing*

by Rod Smith
  • You may not be able to think about anything because such news can be like a powerful anesthetic. Do not be surprised if you feel dizzy and your thoughts and feelings jump around inside you. This may last for a while. You will settle into the new truth about your life and new routines.
  • Your parents will probably tell you they still love you and each other. Try to believe it. This can be very confusing. Parents can often forget they are finishing something they started as adults. They’ve had lives without each other before you came along. It can feel like you are losing everything because you’ve never known life to be any other way. For you love, security, and feeling safe are all wrapped in one package. The package always included both parents. Their change shifts everything about your life.
  • Now that you’ve been told, don’t be surprised if you think you are the only one who did not know it was coming. Your world is the only one you know. This was how you thought life was supposed to be.
  • Many young people create successful lives even though their parents divorced. Decide to do the same.

*Written to 13 and 14 year old

January 10, 2018

Pocket reminders

by Rod Smith
  • Please, say please, thanks, and thank you in every interaction.
  • Make eye contact with everyone you meet.
  • Resist multitasking when you are talking to people – even if you’re talking on the phone.
  • Return calls and text messages. Don’t ignore people.
  • Apologize when an apology is necessary and don’t do it just for show.
  • Don’t drop sales people or estate agents who have helped you without announcement or explanation.
  • Be nice to all people even if you don’t get what you want from them and even if they are unpleasant to you. Your behavior always reflects on you no matter what the context.
  • Open doors for people. You are very unlikely to lose by helping someone else win.
  • Stand back – let others go ahead of you.
  • Listen very well; assume nothing; people everywhere are struggling with something or with other people. Your listening ear may become a lifeline to a total stranger.