April 30, 2017
by Rod Smith
The therapist may:
- expose you to several new perspectives on your life and the experience may lead you to significant change
- have guts enough to show you how you may be thinking and behaving like a victim and the experience may lead you to change
- strip you of your God-talk and your handy clichés to the point where you really meet yourself and encounter the divine
- show you how you fit into a network of family and friends and how you may be resisting your legitimate place in that network.
- ignore your focus on your weaknesses and help you to capitalize upon your strengths
- insist that you create new orbits no matter how entrenched you may be
- help you get your focus off the endless task of trying to make unhappy people happy
- stir the lion within you until you see the fruitlessness of accommodating poor treatment from anyone
- expose you to the joy of being out of control while keeping the rules all at the same time
- show you how your future may be brighter than your past if you embrace the courage to plan and to implement what you really want.
Posted in Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Education, Family, Family Systems Theory, Grace |
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April 30, 2017
by Rod Smith
“My sister changes plans on me all the time because of her son (4). We will make a plan to meet and then it gets cancelled because the child had a tantrum. I wouldn’t think this was an issue but it has been repeated many times. This is really testing my patience. If we do meet she brings him with her when we have lunch but we cannot talk because he takes so much of her attention. It’s so bad my boyfriend won’t come with anymore. I just want one time when we can talk like it used to be. Is this too much to ask?”
It’s not too much to ask but you may never get what you are looking for.
Your sister’s relationship with her son will probably always trump her relationship with you. She’s his mother; she’s your sister. If she really is too caught up in mothering then that is not news she will probably be open to hearing from you.
Declare your wants. Do it kindly. Do it clearly. Then, understand that your sister will place what she determines as the needs of her child above the needs of her sister.
Join her; love your nephew, rather than attempt to compete with him.
Posted in Adolescence, Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Friendship, Grace, High maintenance relationships, Parenting/Children, Single parenting, Space, Womanhood |
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