I have been insensitive and inattentive

by Rod Smith

“My husband is a marriage and family therapist. We have been married almost 18 years. He told me this weekend that he had been miserable for the last 10-12 years of our marriage. I’ve been a nag, and I own that. When he calls home he talks to an angry wife/mother who never asked him about himself. I own that, too. He has always been faithful to our marriage vows, but he hasn’t forgiven me for my past mistakes. He says our marriage is 95% over. I asked him for a second chance to make things right, and he held my hand tenderly and said, ‘it’s not going to be easy. I can’t go through that again.’ Instead of saying, ‘I wouldn’t want to go through that again either,’ I said, ‘you won’t have to.’ Wrong answer! He moved to a new place without us. Emotions have been wrecked. I have been insensitive and inattentive to him and his needs, and I want to make amends. How do I start?”

As always – get your focus off him, off the marriage, and onto retrieving your life. This means building a life worth living as if you were single. You might never get back your marriage, but you will find a future worthy of living.

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