You adopted two children at birth as a single man. You are white and they are both black. Three questions: 1. Did you ever think of your actions as selfish given that there are thousands of couples trying to adopt? 2. How did you handle the children as infants – men don’t usually do that part of rearing babies? 3. Is race an issue? (Questions contracted from several sources into one reply).

Thanks for your loving concern. In both instances my children (now 12 and eight) came to me – as in, I did nothing to search for children.

1. Thulani’s mother approached me. Nathanael’s arrival was “out of the blue” when a friend knew he was “alone” and available at the local state hospital. I was present at Thulani’s birth and met Nathanael when he was 8 days old. So, no, I did not “take” my children from any couple but rather responded to a mother’s request and to a need.

2. It is a myth that women and not men can nurture a baby. Any reasonable man, given my circumstances, could and would do the same. I loved the late night feedings and all that went with loving infants.

3. Race is not an issue for me – clearly it is for you.

Posted on January 23, 2011 at 1:53 pm in Boundaries, Children   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL