Grandmother chess

by Rod Smith

“My wife’s mother is a stay-at-home wife while my mother has a full time job. To save us money we drop our baby (almost 6 months) off with my mother two days a week. My mother-in-law loves this arrangement. My mother, at first, got all worried that our child would not know her as well as she knew her other granny, and so we made a point of dropping our daughter with her most Saturday afternoons even when it wasn’t always convenient. It feels like we are trying to do an equal time deal so we don’t offend anyone. Please comment.”

Meet your mothers (both) over a cup of tea....

You know your mother: talk directly with her about what you perceive is happening. Lovingly, kindly addressing your mother about this wonderful “problem” will be good preparation for the many challenging conversations any parent will surely have during the joyful twenty or so years of rearing a child.

Your baby is not a pawn in a game of granny chess. Do what is right for you, for the baby, and for your respective mothers – all at once! Be clear and compassionate with both grannies regarding what you need from each, without confusing the needs of the baby with the needs of the grandmothers.

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