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I don’t want to lose him….

by Rod Smith

Rod Smith, MSMFT

“I am 26 and have been living with the father of my children for five years. We are not married and he has been cheating on me ever since. He claims to be a changed person now but I don’t trust that. He still goes onto ‘Mxit’ and chats to uknown females and I am uncomfortable with that. I have been through this so many times but I haven’t moved out the house. He has been horrible towards me and he seems to be doing it all over again. I am really afraid to lose him. I don’t want my kids to grow up without their dad, like I did. Please can you help me?”

Probably not. Until you change your behavior and refuse victimhood matters will deteriorate. You desire relief from pain without spending the necessary “clean” pain to get there. Insight is useless when people are unwilling to change and, something in this sad scenario works for you – or you would have moved on years ago.

Yes. You are uncomfortable, but apparently not sufficiently uncomfortable to plan a major move. About losing him? That’s already occurred.

Posted on February 20, 2010 at 4:04 am in Attraction, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Voice   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL

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One Comment to “I don’t want to lose him….”

    
  1. Sinkingship's avatar
    Sinkingship
    August 12, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    I think that the most important statment she made is “I don’t want my kids to grow up without their Dad”. That’s what’s motivating her to stay because she remembers her own pain.

    Although I find your response a little harsh, I believe you have spoken truth, with absolutely no sugar-coating. Hopefully she has some support available.

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