Relax, take a deep breath, try to assess whether your anxiety levels are “normal” (there’s a natural anxiety that comes with day-to-day living) or unhelpful (debilitating, crippling).

Toxic anxiety will make you partially deaf to what others are saying and you will only hear what you want to hear. It will make you partially blind to what is going on around you and will see what you want to see. It will make you hyper-sensitive to the actions of others and less aware of your own behavior.

Your anxiety levels will reduce if you….

1. “De-triangle” yourself by getting out of the middle of relationships that do not directly involve you.
2. Re-connect (appropriately) with people to whom you are related – especially when it is by “blood” (it is virtually impossible to be enduringly emotionally well if you have cut off “blood” relationships).
3. Step out of the role of being a peacekeeper (one who avoids and helps others avoid necessary and helpful conflict) and step into the role of being a peacemaker (one who welcomes and facilitating necessary and helpful conflict).

Posted on February 16, 2010 at 6:38 am in Boundaries, Communication   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL