What can I do to be “lower” maintenance?

by Rod Smith

“I am a high maintenance or attention seeking person. Having looked over the relationships that I have had, especially with women, I have found that I crave attention. If I do not get it to my seeming satisfaction, I get resentful or am smugly superior to the people. Sometimes this is very subtle. It can stem from being turned down for a date or not having

Lower your expectations of others....

a call returned. In relationships I am jealous if I am not the center of activity. I seem to be never satisfied or trusting. I seem to be always afraid I will not get the attention that I crave. I fully agree with the need to grow up and not be so sensitive, so here’s the question: coming to the realization is great, but what actions can I take to help me become less needy of the affirmation of others?” (Edited)

Change is initially internal, beginning with awareness. The nature of your issue makes it a private journey – if you ask your friends for help, in a weak moment you are likely to blame others when you fail. Read every available book available on personal boundaries. Keep on reading, journaling, and lowering your expectations of others.

Jean Hatton

JEAN HATTON: You have discovered valuable insights into your behavioural patterns and I commend you for your choice to say ‘Now what do I do?’ I would encourage you to seek help through therapy. ‘Walking through, and talking through issues of your history of relationships will shed more light on what you have found, giving you answers to the reasons for your behaviour.

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