How to ruin the festive season…

by Rod Smith

I've seen all of these done to perfection....!

1. Re-ignite resolved conflicts as if they have never been resolved. If you can’t recall an old conflict, invent one or start something new. Good openers are always “your mother always” or “your brothers are….” or remarks about how someone in the family handles his or her children?
2. Measure love by the price paid for gifts. If you are unsure what something cost, simply ask.
3. Ask for receipts so it makes cashing in or exchanging gifts easier for you.
4. Sneer at handmade or homemade gifts.
5. Get all bent out of shape if someone forgets you – especially if you know it is unintentional.
6. Make the entire festive season about getting what you want.
7. Talk incessantly and loudly (especially about how things used to be) and never listen.
8. Complain as much as possible – the weather, economy, overcrowding, and crime rates are good starters.
9. Wear your feelings on your sleeve so you can be offended as much as possible – especially about things that do not involve you or are none of your business.
10. Practice being as reactive and emotional as possible so you can cause a scene at the drop of a hat.

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