“How do I get back into a cordial relationship with an adult son who has cut off from me because HE is abusive and angry. When we have had time it blows up in my face and he calls me the worst terms I have ever heard. He is single and lives alone. I am remarried after the death of my first wife, the mother of my only son.”

Call him. Arrange to meet for limited time periods (15 to 30 minutes) at a well-patronized restaurant. Tell him when you are making the arrangements, that you are missing him, and would like to see him but are unwilling to be subject to his negative behavior. Tell him why you are choosing a public venue. If he refuses to meet, you will know he is not yet ready to meet you face-to-face and abide with your terms. Give it a month or two and repeat the offer. As tough as it is not to see you son, while you allow yourself to be his victim, your relationship will not shift and improve for either of you.