Archive for November 16th, 2009

November 16, 2009

“Un-spoiling” a child is not easy….

by Rod Smith

Size matters...

Size is all-important in a family. I’ve seen many families where the children are “bigger” than the parents. The children’s needs, wants, and desires appear to determine almost everything. The parents’ needs are continually ignored while every desire the children become the parents’ marching orders.

Of course parents willingly sacrifice for their children, but in families with “super-sized” children, the imbalance becomes burdensome.

I have seen children pitch a fit, stamp and storm – when a parent makes a legitimate request of the child, or has to alter a minor plan, or must pursue a detour, which the child perceives as hindering his or her freedom, creativity, rights, or friendships.

Such toxic parent/child binds can drain all the enjoyment out of family life.

When a mother or a father sees the light (acknowledges his or her indulgence of the child, can see the child is unpleasant) and tries to bring the child down to an appropriate size, the child will understandably resist. Resistance can become ugly.

“Un-spoiling” a child is no easy task: it is better not to worship children in the first place.