Reader expresses opinion about helping a partner feel secure….

by Rod Smith

“Part of loving someone is actively taking steps to make him or her feel secure in you. I recall reaching a point in a relationship when my lady moved in that I told her to answer all of my phones. I wanted to empower her and bring her to the point where she felt secure in me. The home/cell would ring and I would tell her to answer it. She answered my phone for just a short while, then never bothered even asking again and has never asked about my calls since. That is one of the steps I took to make her secure. I invited her at any point in the day to show up or come with me regardless of where I was and she soon let that go too. I took active steps to make her feel secure. That’s what you do for someone you truly love. It’s called devotion and two people should expect that from each other. The stereotype, however, is that when a man is asking where a woman has been, he is being controlling, possessive, and even emotionally abusive. Both individuals in a committed relationship have the right to express those areas of insecurities in a civilized, cordial manner and to have the other person take it seriously.” (Edited)

[Inclusion does not mean agreement: Rod Smith]

2 Comments to “Reader expresses opinion about helping a partner feel secure….”

  1. The danger of a post like this is that without any framing the “Reader expresses opinion…” could be misinterpreted by others as “Reader expresses opinion (with Rod’s tacit approval by virtue of posting)…”

    … and I’m not sure that’s where you want us to go !

  2. Well I would say that the good thing about a post like this is that it offers another perspective on how to handle a very viable situation in a lot of relationships. If a person is already insecure. Not putting them down or causing them to feel as though you are untrustworthy is a good step. I have been hurt deeply from past relationships and once you have knowledge on the characteristics of a cheater it does cause insecurities. I appreciate what the writer says. Opening the door to honesty and not behaving as though you have something to hide creates a new circle of trust with the insecure person. It shows true love and a commitment to not wish to betray.

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