Archive for August 17th, 2008

August 17, 2008

Two in “one boat” or two in “two boats”…..that is the question?

by Rod Smith

“I always read your column and then the daily ‘tail-piece.’ One of the many things that caught my attention was that marriage is not two people in one boat but two people, each person in his or her own boat. I think my husband would like us to be joined together and have us share a brain (his brain of course). He asks my opinion and then always improves on what I say. When I’m on the phone he tells me what to say and corrects me, sometimes he even shouts at me and the person on the other end can hear. Because we work together I try to ignore it to avoid having a bad day but every now and then I explode. Then it gets nasty and he hurls verbal abuse at me, bringing up my family and poor upbringing.”

This is a fine example my repeated encouragement that readers “focus on your behavior, and not the behavior of others.” The reader tells in detail about the “other” but appears to miss that she has allowed his nastiness to thrive by putting up with it. It is a fool who curses his wife but a very foolish wife who remains a willing target.