Archive for August 5th, 2008

August 5, 2008

To move, or not to move…..

by Rod Smith

“I am in a three-year relationship and my daughter (14) lives with us. My friend tells me he is tired of commuting from my house to work. He wants me to move to his lake home and put my daughter in school there, which would lessen his commute by 20 minutes. My daughter grew up where we live now and her dad lives close by. She does not know anyone there and moving would also cause a problem in seeing her dad. My friend finds fault with all my solutions. The move would mean my giving up my house and (before that) I want a commitment, like a ring. My friend does not want to get married. He tells me he loves me but marriage is out of the question. I am heartsick. I don’t understand how he says he cares and wants to spend the rest of his life with me but bails when marriage is mentioned. Things are falling apart. What do I do?” (Letter shortened)

Stand firm!
Do what is in the best interests of your family. I’d suggest your friend move to his lake house and share weekends at your house. It seems he wants the benefits of being a spouse and co-parent without a legal contract or the responsibility entailed.

August 5, 2008

A reader writes, and your comments are encouraged…..

by Rod Smith

“I am the ‘other woman’ in a relationship. The sad thing is I have been single for the better part of nine years. I have had three serious relationships with eligible single men. These relationships lasted anywhere from a year to two years. I ended all of them because the relationships were headed nowhere. There were no talks of marriage and these men were going about their lives making decisions that let me know I was not even being considered in the future as a part of their lives.

“I have been seeing a married man for the last three months. This man has treated me better than the three relationships (single men) put together. It may be true that the relationship has no future, but because he is married I don’t expect anything. It may be true he is so attentive and good to me because he is married, but at least he recognizes he should do something to compensate.

“I guess my point is I have tried dating single men and I don’t get the same response. It is painful on weekends when he goes home. It is painful when holidays roll around and I’m alone. It is painful but the pain is temporary also.”