I am an expert in my behavior…

by Rod Smith

“You have written that I am blind to my own behavior but an expert in the behavior of my abusive boyfriend. Actually I am very aware of my own behavior to the point of being an expert in it, too. The problem is that I don’t know how to get away from him. When he loves he really loves. I need his approval. I already know I need to get out. I just do not know how. Please help.” (Synthesized)

While I am aware that my writing will appear to judge you for not moving on with your life (and for not moving out of his life), offering you understanding or empathy is unlikely to stimulate you to make necessary, bold moves.

To find your freedom there is no escaping necessary pain.

Gathering, becoming part of a supportive community, is essential in taking such a step.

Before you point it out, I am very aware that abusive men tend to isolate their victims so finding and developing a community feels impossible to the victim.

You must break out, become unpredictable and begin to forge a life without him. The alternative is too horrible to contemplate.

Remember love is NEVER abusive (not at all, ever) and even a little abuse is enough reason to move on.

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