If you can hear the voice of a spouse of lover saying any of the following 10 points to you, I’d suggest your relationship could use some renewal.

Don’t say you love me and then…

• Disregard (write off, refuse to consider) what I say, think, and feel.
• Demand from me, or try to manipulate me into, sexual acts I do not want.
• Offer me less times and energy than you give to your most casual acquaintances.
• Refuse to initiate or participate in respectful and helpful conversations.
• Avoid initiating mutual, regular physical, mutually desired, intimacy.
• Hold grudges for years, bring up old issues time again, and hit me with things I thought were long forgiven and forgotten between us.
• Abandon me (physically or emotionally) with the responsibility of rearing our children under the guise of supporting the family. I need you to support the family AND help with the children – this is what adults, who are parents, do.
• Blind-side me with the unexpected: unpaid debts, hidden activities, unusual expenditures, and secret, inappropriate liaisons.
• Avoid “alone” time with me.
• Belittle me in any manner, let alone in front of our family and friends.