Daughter’s marriage is breaking down horribly……

by Rod Smith

“Our daughter has now been married for three years to her second husband. The marriage has broken down horribly. After one counseling session he refuses to go again. He is totally absorbed in his work, sometimes doesn’t even go to bed at night. He verbally abuses and finds fault with everything our daughter says or does while she is desperately trying to make the marriage work. We have seen a dramatic change in him for the worst. He barely shows any interest in the children or the goings on in the household. Our daughter shares her heartache with us. The children are even feeling the stress in the home. My question: How can we help and how far can we get involved? Up until now we just listen but have not interfered. As parents are deeply religious and we pray every day that a miracle will happen. We want it to work! We are desperate and feel so helpless.” (Edited)

Your son in law seems trapped; your daughter appears to have lost her voice. The miracle will be that both adults find their voice (regain their lives, their dreams) whether remaining married or not. Keep listening. Keep asking her: Is this what you want for you and your children? and What will it take to get what you need?

5 Comments to “Daughter’s marriage is breaking down horribly……”

  1. tobeme's avatar

    Rod,
    You are right, seems as though there are no open lines of communication. Two seperate life’s.

  2. Kimberly McKay's avatar

    I would encourage you to continue to pray! Continue to direct your daughter to focus on what’s best for the children emotionally and spiritually when having to deal with a father that behaves so irrationally. Please keep me updated on this. When God lays your daughter on my heart, I will pray!

  3. phani's avatar

    Please also improve your daughter’s perception of life and make sure you your daughter understand life in a positive way.. If you have full confidence that she does not need any further counselling…may she should seperately live and stand for an example of LIFE !

  4. Frustrated Hubby's avatar

    There seems to be something else going on. Why is it that he has thrown himself into his work. What I’ve found in my marriage is what is delt with most of the time are the side effects of something greater. Both of them need to look deeper within themselves as to what the possible root if the issue is.

    Once they have a grasp of that and can effectivly communicate that to the other. They can both start down the road to healing.

  5. Unknown's avatar

    pray that god intervines on your daughters behalf. my daughter is going through same thing. it is heart breaking.she is a good christian girl also.he moved into her house that she owned before marriage and drives her car that he didnt buy. he does work ,but thats about it. she recently told him she wanted to be a stay at home mom and he called her a loser.imagine that.she was a single mom when he met her and had our little grandson. also worked and went to nursing school,bought her home and is a great mother.she also now has a 3month old son. there have been times when i have had words with him about his behavior. it only makes it hard on the girls. stay close to her and be supportive.she will know when its over.by the way its ok to stay positive about this…but it takes two to reconcile and to make things better.i lived it myself and getting away from that horrible abuse was the best thing i have ever done.

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