Archive for August 5th, 2007

August 5, 2007

Children do not want to visit father and stepmother…

by Rod Smith

My children (8 and 7) do not want to go on visits with their father and stepmother. I have tried to encourage them but they find it scary and they behave badly just before they go and for a day or two after they come back. What should I do since my husband sees their behavior and something I am encouraging to keep them away from him? This is not true at all. I have never tried to dissuade them from visiting him and nor have I made it an issue. Please help. (Edited)

This situation underscores the difficulties that divorce and remarriage places upon children. It is time for you to sit down with ALL the adults in the picture, and tell each other the truth about what is happening in both homes.

If the parents cannot handle the adult relationships with grace and maturity, it is most unlikely the children will be able to handle visits without incident. One can hardly expect more of the children than what is being modeled by the adults.

Arrange a meeting with all the players and a disinterested person who is able to assist you to hear each other and help these children benefit from spending time with all the adults who love and are committed to them.