1. It is frequently difficult to tell who, if anyone, is running the show.
2. There is a lot of noise and laughter.
3. The children sometimes form a healthy alliance against the parents, and the children often get their way.
4. There are frequent conflicts.
5. Differences are embraced, even encouraged.
6. Healthy families generate a degree of chaos almost everywhere they go. It takes a lot of energy to get the family to do anything together, as a group, because everyone is so busy with “outside-the-family” activities.
7. While such families intend differently, they are seldom on time for anything. They change their minds at the last moment and do something quite unexpected.
8. Roles and rules are not set in stone. Negotiation skills are highly valued.
9. Hurtful words and actions are avoided but quickly repaired when necessary.
10. The parents have a life together that frequently excludes the children.
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