She is very suspicious and abusive….

by Rod Smith

Reader: I believe I am slowly dying. My partner permanently believes every outing, whether to work or business, is a sex one. She has carried on like this for ten years but it is getting worse. Sometimes, when I return from outside, she shouts, barges me down and even hit me. Other times, she drives me back out, and I would have to negotiate my way through neighbors to get back in. She denies me keys and facilities and abuses me, curses me, and calls me names. If I dare call friends and family she will say all sorts of unprintable things. She has even threatens to harm herself if I am not careful, and will say I did it. The only time she is at peace with me is when I sit at home for hours on end. I have suggested therapy, but this has resulted into more abuses. Getting out seems an option but I am in the middle of an academic program and that could be distracting. Please help. (Letter edited)

Rod’s Response: Until you are prepared to make drastic changes in your behavior, your partner will have no reason to improve her behavior. This unusual dance must be rewarding you in some manner. Why else would you endure such bizarre behavior?

3 Comments to “She is very suspicious and abusive….”

  1. Getting out would be distracting?????????

    What do you call the life that you are living? Your whole relationship is distracting. You are fooling yourself. If you truly want change, run, don’t walk, run fast. UGH!

  2. You called this person your “partner”? Does this mean spouse? Or are y’all just “living together” (if you can call it that)? If just “living together” go read Rod’s post on April 17th: http://rodesmith.com/2007/04/17/living-together-should-we/ . If you are married you don’t suggest therapy which leads to more abuse, you demand/require it. If you are “living together” then as Rod says “there is no committment.” Therefore, turn and burn (run)! And about that “partner” label… no one who abuses would be any kind of partner in my life.

  3. What I found hilarious about this whole story is the final sentence how leaving the situation would be a distraction to his academic endeavors…All in all, this sounds like a one hell of a chess match between one drama queen and one drama king…..some one needs to “check” these “mates” out….to counseling….RIGHT NOW!

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