Please help us – I am divorced…..

by Rod Smith

“I have read your article in today’s paper about children of divorce and I agree with you. I am separated from my husband for a year and I believe my son (9) is victim of our behavior. We need help. Please advise if you are able to assist in any way.”

  • No matter how much conflict exists between you and your son’s father he once was your husband. This is a sobering place to visit when you are most desperate.
  • Your son embodies both of you. When you reject his father you are in some ways also rejecting your son.
  • No matter how much your relationship has disintegrated it is worth getting sound help to seek compromise and ways to be mutually respectful.
  • Remember you are teaching your son how adults handle life and how men and women treat each other.
  • Do whatever you can to get over yourself and over being right or over having to win, and mutually (yes, both of you) decide what is good and helpful for your son.

Mature parenting demands the adults sacrifice for their children AND develop strong and meaningful lives as if they were not parents at all! I know it difficult – I know it seems contradictory – but that’s why parenting is for adults.

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