The essentials of self-care ought to not be underestimated. There is present in many cultures, the belief that self-care is somehow selfish while, of course, the antithesis is ironically true. To neglect self is selfish – a neglected self, even if he or she appears to be selflessly serving others, will spread relational toxicity wherever he or she goes.

Here are three essential elements of self-care:

1. Rest. A healthy person will rest before he or she needs to do so. Somewhere in the rhythm of a busy life the healthy person gets the rest and recreation required for restoration.

2. Clarity: A healthy person does all he or she can to minimize mixed messages, unclear expectations, and confused boundaries. Karen Miles, the Australian writer and expert on the impact motherhood has upon women regarding identity and career, talks about “interrogating reality” as a sign of relational health and caring. (www.karenmiles.com.au)

3. Community: A healthy person finds a place in a small community of good friends where he or she can regularly “download”, be energized, contribute to others, and receive from others in a mutual, respectful setting where all the participants are completely equal.

Posted on August 31, 2009 at 7:53 pm in Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Education, Family, Responsive people   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL